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First time you're being dumped? First time it hurts so bad? You have the feeling to be clinging to the cliff of your life. You feel you have been dumped from the top and rolled down till you grasped the rock. You feel you are garbage. You are garbage. You think you will never stand up? OK, I'm going to give you a hand.

But, please, don't tell me it's unfair. I know. Life is NOT fair. "C'est la vie." People around you are not happy dwarves, and we don't live in a monastery. So what?

Take my hand. Stop whining. Move your ass. Get up & go back to the top.



How to get over a bad breakup?

Start by looking at the bright side: "until you're broken, you don't know what you're made of." Now you know. It's a good point. And soon, you will be solid as a mountain.

If your heart is broken badly, if you want to heal the pain, first consider yourself as a drug addict. You're probably wondering why it happened to you? Why you? After everything you have done? Come on, nobody forced you to do all these things. Stop going round the bend, letting your brain rolling and rolling again. We both know that you could have stopped your relationship long before.

If you had followed my advice in the article: Are you making any of these 12 Dating Mistakes?, I bet you would never have gone down so far, mon ami(e). Be honest with you, you had a few times signals that it was not working out. Why did you stay? Because you were addicted. The wind was just blowing too fast.

Be strong

You are not safe. Consider yourself like Missing in Action in enemy territory. This guide will serve you as a survival-kit. You are given a compass, a map, and a lighter to find your way in the night and get warm with a fire till you get back.

First of all, it's not your fault nor the pilot's or the team, the wind was just blowing too fast. By thinking so, you will stop negative energy and focus on your survival. Your mind carries you back in the past. You keep analyzing your mistakes. Your mind can accuse your partner, your relative or yourself for not having done the right thing at the right moment. But the only thing we want is you to look ahead and come home.

Stop looking behind you, look ahead. Your energy is limited, so use it for coming back behind our lines. Full stop. Is that clear?

Now, you're strong. You're gonna fight! You'll see. It works!

" DON'T follow your instinct and DON'T obey your heart"

Common sentences don't apply to you anymore because you left the common world. You're driving in a tunnel in fire with black smoke all around. Oxygen will be missing in a few minutes. Be aware of that. Common driving code doesn't apply to you anymore. Help yourself, and God will help you.

You were born to succeed in your love life. It will not be with that person. So get ready for the next one.

Avoid loneliness

Every time you're on your own, you start thinking and wrecking your mind. Wash your brain. Think about Paris or whatever you like.

Get a visual trainer, and solid visual support, with a strong image. It could be the picture of a climber, a sportsman or sportswoman, somebody who faced difficulty and triumphed. You can get a poster, put it in your room, so that it kicks your blues in the morning or when you get back home. Or a small picture and you use it as a bookmark.

Avoid triggers

Stay away from romantic movies. Consider, it's like cheese when you're on a diet. Avoid anything which is not action or which leave your mind wander away.
Avoid places which bring back memories. Restaurants, streets, bars, districts. Avoid your common territory for a while. I remember a time when I was going in the metro, and just getting in a metro station could make my stomach like a brick. On the platform, I was wondering between 2 destinations. And I was undecided for 5, 10 minutes till the next train. When you have lived in Paris, you have probably loved everywhere, but you tend to have special memories, build up your own space, your own territory where you feel comfortable and good no matter what.
Avoid these moments, and all these factors which trigger your broken heart like an arrow in a bleeding wound. Avoid triggers like the plague.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Be active

Have a physical activity once a day. If you're tired, just go walking for 10 minutes first. Then try 20 minutes.
Don't start to eat 1 chocolate bar every minute. The best way to get back in the tracks is to be competitive. Allow yourself, 1 week, no more than 7 days for food revenge. Past the delay, become stronger and stronger.

You have to clear your system. Unhappiness comes because your system is delivering sad hormones over and over. There's a break in your good-mood system, and you have to repair it. The sooner the better. By exercising every day, you will clean your body and charge yourself in positive energy. When the balance will be stabilized, you will find back your harmony. You will be able to be happy again.

Have a physical activity once a day
Learn French, music, anything. Set some goals. In 1 month you will have to know the basics in Spanish, in French, marketing, IT, new software, whatever you want, whatever is your challenge.

In French, we say "le travail, c'est la sante". It means "work, it's health". Something we say of course when going to work is a pain in the neck, but as well work does help you not to let your mind wander around. Physical activity or just suppressing idleness are a fantastic help for self-esteem, balance and harmony.

Clean your body

Eat healthy, reduce fat food, increase fruits and vitamins. If you smoke, reduce your cigarette consumption. You need oxygen to swim back to the surface in this swamp. We know it's not easy. You went down, now you have to go up.

Hot showers, baths, and swimming-pool. Water massages.

Stop thinking

Your brain is weak and needs oxygen. Give him a month vacation.
As soon as you start thinking about it, drop the idea. Stop your mind to wander away. It's like quitting drugs. In one way, it makes you happy to think about it, but it keeps on to be very destructive. Think about PARIS.

Don't moan
The more you speak about your ex, the good time you had, the more you bring back negative energy. You're just trying to talk about it, because it pleases you, but in a negative way to get rid of your reproach. Get rid of them with your closest friends if you feel like it. But don't bring that forever.
Every time you speak about it, you reprint images in your brain. These images make you suffer. So, it's no god for you.

You will be more rewarded by putting off the flames of desire burning in your heart.

Get a book

This is a great Tip! Find a nice story which suits you, and carry your book everywhere like a sportsman carry his vitamins. Every time, you're on your own. Before going to class, going to work, or going to bed, read the book. Get what we call in French "un roman de gare": a trainstation novel. Some book that you can read in the train, and that you can finish even before you arrived. Fun N Easy to read, know what I mean?

I suggest 200 pages. Why not a biography? You will see what people have endured, great things they have achieved. And when looking at the book, tell yourself one thing: when you will reach the last chapter, you will feel much, MUCH better.

Believe me, it's true.

Sleep Well

The most important to recharge your batteries. You are like a cellular phone after 1 week in the jungle. You will not get better with a quick charge.

First of all, I'm not in favor of sleeping pills unless it's extremely recommended by your usual doctor. You are addicted to love already. You need to clean your body, not to get addicted to another product.

How can I get a good night sleep?

8 secrets for success in Good Sleep

1 Eat light
2 Physical activity
3 Reduce light 2 hours before sleep
4 Avoid sound, beats or dynamic people.
5 Hot shower or bath The bath is good because you are surrounded by water. And you can get alone for a while. The best to relax.
6 Hot drink herbal tea, or warm milk.
7 Good book

Go to bed early. If you don't go to bed early, it's catch 22. The alarm-clock will always wake you up. So you're more tired, more stressed, more depressed, anxious and you go to bed later and later. So, you're more tired... etc...
To be happy, you need to be balanced.

Get rid of the tension. Physical activity for 30 minutes. Warm up and relax your body with a hot shower. Drink some warm drink, milk or herbal tea. The hot milk trick works perfectly. That's what French mothers give to babies when they are nervous. It will put you to sleep in no time.
Read a book which doesn't get you too much excited. And when the first sleep-wave comes, your eyes drop or you yawn, switch off the light.

Soft music, but not melancholy. Avoid love songs. That would be like shooting yourself in the leg. Enjoy ballads. Sheep-sheep-help me sleep. You will sleep like a baby.

How long do I have to do that?

It can last one month, 6 months, 1 year or more. But if you do what I suggested , usually, it's gone within 10 days.

Never go back to your ex. You can climb the wall with your nails and get back inside from the window. It is possible. But you will be hurt again.
Focus on your real aim: to be happy

Do you feel like doing a comeback?
Good luck! Everybody can come back, but nobody can change the wheel of time. Please, there are no shortcuts to be happy.

Now, it's time to walk off the train which was going in the wrong directions. And it's not because somebody pushed you off the train, that you can think it was the right train. Lucky you are. Start walking. You're the only one who can take that decision. Here is what you can think when in doubt:

It was not good for me. I could get back. But I am too strong. I won't do it. I am too smart. I decided and I DECIDE not to do it. It's a go-nowhere relationship and it will bring me more sadness and hard moments.

Staying longer would be a disaster. I think not only for me but for my children and my future children. I have lost enough time.

I am strong enough. Now, I walk in the RIGHT direction. My only aim is TO BE HAPPY.

Get a bottle of Champagne to celebrate your first day of freedom.
Lord, you're lucky! Because life goes on, mon ami(e). The wind of happiness is blowing in your direction. You are stronger than the rock.

Do you really want to get a new start?

Have a look at my book. I'll show you how to kick the blues in no time, and make anyone crazy about you. It's easy. I put the best seduction techniques in my success guide "The French Secrets".

Relax and have fun!


Your French Success Coach,


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About the author: Doc LAMOUR is a famous dating expert and resides in Paris, the city of love