Many people believe that they must be dissatisfied with
themselves, or that they must reject themselves, or feel
guilt or shame in order to have a motive for self-improvement
or growth. They wonder, ĢIf I accept and love myself as
I am, what motive will I have for continuing to change,
grow or improve? "
Accepting ourselves, as we are, is not a deterrent to continuing
our efforts to learn, grow and improve ourselves. We can
easily accept ourselves and still continue to improve our
character and increase our knowledge.
The First Grader
Perhaps the example
of children in grade school will help us to understand this.
These children in the first grades of grade school do not
reject themselves because they are not in a higher grade,
or because they do not know as much, or are not as capable
as those children in the higher grades. They accept themselves
as they are, and are happy with themselves with their present
level of abilities and knowledge.
Yet, no child would accept remaining in the same grade the next year or year after
year.
In the same way, there is no conflict between accepting and feeling comfortable with our temporarily limited
abilities and lower level of conscious, and our need to continue growing. It is natural to accept and love ourselves at his
present stage of growth and simultaneously to attend to learning, evolving and improving ourselves
Growth is a natural
instinctual need. Scientists have discovered that when a person learns something new, this creates the excretion of endomorphines
and other positively reinforcing chemicals in the brain. Learning brings pleasure, when it is natural and not connected to
fear of rejection and failure.
But there are yet other motives for action and growth, and these are love and the need
for creativity. We need to love and to create, just as we need to sleep and eat. These are basic needs, even if they are higher
on the need-hierarchy scale.
Thus, even if we do not have self-rejection or dissatisfaction
as a motivating force, we will always have love and creativity
as motivating forces to grow, create and produce.
Let us grow naturally without fear or self-doubt.
We are all in the first grade of the school of spiritual
growth.
But we need to prepare ourselves
to be in the second grade next year,
and the third the year after
and...
Be Well
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***** Reference Box for Publishers *****
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(Robert
Elias Najemy's recently released book "The Psychology of Happiness" (ISBN 0-9710116-0-5) is available at
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/holisticharmo-20
and
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html .
His writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where
you can also download FREE articles and e-books.)
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